It was just a few months ago that I was playing with Steinway. One of Mom's friends had brought us a tent and we played in that tent. Steinway would get outside and I'd get inside and we'd poke at each other. Mom has been sick. They told her in December that she had something called cancer. She had to go to the hospital for about a week - and when she came home, she stayed in bed for a while and someone came to take care of her. But gradually she was able to get up and soon was able to go back to work.
She started something called radiation - every day for quite a while. Then radioisotope implants - then chemotherapy. She was so sick after the chemo - she'd lie in bed and didn't want anything to touch her - Steinway or me - a sheet - anything. But after a few days, her strength would start to come back and she'd be up again. It was about this time that I started to feel really bad. I kept losing weight and didn't want to eat anything. But I had to be there for her - she needed me so badly and loved me so much.
One day about a month ago, she came home from the doctors all happy - her cat scans had shown that there was no more cancer. While she had to have further lab tests and scans, things were looking up. And at this time, I knew she could go on without me and I felt this feeling come over my body - this PKD thing. Polycystic Kidney Disease - my mother died from that so there was always a 50/50 chance I would have it. I was never scanned because Mom never wanted to know if I had it. There was no cure - nothing that could have been done, so she just hoped. But now she knew also. My appetite fell farther - my weight slipped dangerously low.
So here we are - I am lying here and I see a bridge before me. I want to go over that bridge because I hurt and I'm so tired. But if I go, I'm not sure I'll see her again - and Steinway. We've been such good friends. I hear her murmuring to me - "It's okay, Cornflake. Go over the bridge. I can go on without you now. I'll always love you and never, ever forget you.". I step toward the bridge and I see others on the opposite side. They are all young and happy and healthy. And I want to be with them, but it's so hard to leave everything I've known, everyone who loves me. Another step - another look back - I hear her crying softly yet urging me to go. The sun is shining on the bridge - I feel less tired. My pain is dropping away. And I take one last look back at all I love and continue over the bridge to eternity. I was so loved in life - I will never be forgotten in death. And someday I'll hear, "Cornflake, are you there?" and my Mom will be coming over the bridge as I wait at the corner.
GP/RW Prancenpaws Cornflake